Always and Forever - Part 1

I was in CCD sipping my tropical iceberg and thinking about what should I pen down as a love story since I had never been in love. There was a couple sitting opposite to me, playing scrabble. They were almost of my grandparent’s age. They asked me what I was thinking since when. I told them about it. And here I pen down the story that they narrated to me.

***

For Raj, it was just another night. The silver crescent in the sky played pee-ka-boo moving through the clouds. At times it shone brightest of all and at times it hid itself behind the clouds. The sky wore the blanket of grey clouds because of which only the smattering of stars was visible.

Looking at the stars, Raj just took one more puff and the grey smoke escaped his lips and a tear rolled down from the corner of his eye. He missed her - Amara, his love. He looked at the dark black sky and enjoyed the gushing breeze that played with his hair. He felt as if she was moving her delicate and smooth fingers in his hair and making him sleep. He was just about to sleep once his 50^th cigarette of the day got over as a daily routine. Raj Sharma was a thirty-year old handsome boy with a perfect body-built. He was an investment banker and lived alone in Ahmedabad as a paying guest. He had the personality of the most eligible bachelor, any girl would die for. But now, he had preferred to be alone after he lost Amara.

Amara was a girl in late twenties, her dark brown eyes always rimmed with kohl and her tresses of darkest brown hues perfectly matching her eyes; and her lips – baby pink and glossy.  She was a beautiful girl who also lived alone in Ahmedabad and was a painter by profession.

That night, when Raj just took the last puff of his cigarette, he heard a soft whisper. It was a sweet melodious voice of a female, same voice like that of Amara. He wondered where did it come from. It was late night and everyone was fast asleep. The apartment below his own, had no female member. And the apartment above was vacant since last 1 year. And how was it possible for someone to have voice ditto like Amara? Was it an illusion?

It had been 1 year Amara had passed away. Yes Amara was dead! Ironically, the meaning of name ‘Amara’ is – one who is immortal.

Raj tried to find out the direction from which the sweet melodious voice was flowing. It was easier to trace where the melodious voice came from, since the night was quite calm. The only sounds were occasional bark of a dog and distant steps of workmen going back home. By now, Raj could make out that the voice came from the apartment above. As the girl spoke, the words seem to flow out of her mouth after getting dipped in nectar. The girl seem to be angry and scolding someone. But even that scolding had the sweetness.

Raj felt her voice ditto like – Amara and got lost in his own thoughts and imaginations about Amara. Just when he was lost in his thoughts, he was suddenly shaken up by the gush of wind.

Raj went to bed that night with the thought in his mind – “If the voice of the girl is so sweet, how pretty the girl would be? Would she also be having mesmerizing beauty like Amara?”

He went to sleep hugging Amara’s picture that night. Again he saw the same dream that night, a dream that had been haunting him after Amara’s death, since a year.

***

A year before…

That day, Amara was dressed in a pearl white kurti and light blue jeans. She had a red satin scarf around her neck and her darkest-brown tresses left open. That day, Raj was going to take her on a lunch date and was going to propose her for marriage. They were going in Raj’s open jeep. Raj was mesmerized by  Amara’s beauty. She kept giving Raj romantic and seductive glances while Raj kept driving. The dew drops of love in her eyes were quelling Raj’s scorching heart. Her butter-smeared lips as glossy as ripe cherries seemed to be inviting him. He somehow managed to resist for a while since he was driving. But then he saw, that the road was clear and the bend on the road was a km away. So he thought of taking the chance and enjoying the taste of those ripe cherries. He grabbed Amara from her waist and pulled her closer and implanted a soft kiss on her lips. He felt same as if it was some nectar that he was sucking out of the flower. Little did he know, that kiss was going to change his entire life. The kiss became more passionate and Raj got lost in the nectarous world, just then he heard a sudden bang. Before he could realize where the bang came from, he saw the front glass of his jeep broken into atomic pieces, and pearl white kurti of Amara turning into crimson red. The truck had hit his jeep and gone by. Amara was lying in his arms, with the blood streaming out of her skull and all her face had pieces of glasses pierced. That’s all he could see.

Raj himself was injured on head. And in no time he dropped unconscious with Amara in his arms.

When he gained consciousness, he was in Samved hospital. He was dressed in blue hospital clothes. He had oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth. And his head was bandaged. He was unable to move much because he felt heaviness in head. As soon as he moved his head, he felt giddy. But all he thought was whether Amara was okay or not and how he landed in the hospital? And whether Amara was also admitted or not?

As the nurse entered, with an injection in her hand, Raj asked – “Hey sister! Who brought me here? And I had a girl with me. Where is she?”

Before the nurse could answer, Raj’s mom entered with Ganges of tears flowing down her cheeks and her mouth covered with her saree. She immediately came and took Raj’s hand in hers and said – “Thanks to Ganpati bappa! You are saved. I got a call yesterday afternoon from this hospital that you are hospitalized and I took the first flight and came here without even packing my bags for the days I have to spend here. You have turned so slim. You don’t eat properly. You don’t take care of yourself. You are ruining your life. I am going to take you to Mumbai this time with me. No arguments.”

Raj was too much in pain to argue at that time. He just smiled and said – “Okay Mom. But…”

Raj’s Mom stopped from uttering a word ahead and said – “No ifs and buts right now. Now after you heal yourself I am going to take you to Mumbai with me and there, we will go to Mahalaxmi temple together and offer lots of modak to Ganpati bappa to thank him for saving you. And that’s final.”

His mother’s care melted his heart but her increased spirituality made him smile.

Raj’s mom, Rajvee Sharma was in fifties. Needless to say, Raj being her only child, she was very possessive about him. She had been widowed when she was 25 years of age. At that time, Raj had been only 4 years old. She was alone but she brought up Raj in a wonderful way as if he was a prince born with golden spoon. Although being a single parent, she never let Raj give up his desires. She took up the job as a teacher and worked really hard. She was bachelors in Arts. But just to give Raj every facility, she did her Bachelors in education after being widow so that she could work as a teacher. After doing her B.Ed. and M. Ed., she became a principal of renowned school in Mumbai.

She sacrificed her own wishes so she could buy Raj the best things and best facilities. Raj was always proud of his mother for managing everything single-handedly and yet being so strong. So he never would go against her will. Rajvee was a renowned principal in Mumbai. She carried herself really well. She always remained well-groomed in her crisp cotton sarees and a personality that depicted that she could rule the world if given a chance. She was never a sympathy-gainer. Infact, she always believed in standing for her ownself.

In the hospital room, Raj obeyed his mom and kept quiet for a while. But his hurricane of thoughts didn’t pacify him and he started feeling restless and that in turn increased his headache. Amara was the only truth of his life that he had not revealed to his mother.

Raj collected all the guts in the world finally and asked – “Mom. I had a girl travelling with me too when I was driving that jeep. Where is she? Is she fine? Her name is Amara. And mom, I am sorry but she’s my love and she’s my life Always and Forever.”

Rajvee started looking away as if she had not heard. She started pouring water in the glass from the glass jug lying on the side-table in the hospital.

Keeping her eye-lids down, she told Raj- “Please have some water. You talk a lot dear. I told you to rest.”

Raj resisted this time and said – “No mom! First, please tell me about Amara. I want to know if she’s okay or not.”

Giving a stern look, Rajvee told him – “I will tell you but first you have a sip of water please.”

She gave water to Raj, with her one hand holding the glass, and the other hand resting behind his head to help him raise and drink.

Raj just drank one sip and asked – “Now tell me mom! How’s Amara? Where’s she? Has she also been brought here? Is she okay?”

Rajvee took back the hand behind Raj’s head and made him sleep. She put the glass on the side table and said plainly – “Raj, beta, I am sorry but she’s no more.”

Raj could not believe what he just heard. He could not bear that blow and started weeping aloud. He felt as if the world had ended for him there and then. Rajvee held his hand and let him cry. She cuddled him up after a while and said – “It’s okay Raj. God might have got something better in store for you. When we go to Mahalaxmi temple, we will pray that her soul rests in peace.”

After that episode, Raj had never smiled. Laughing was a far away thing. He decided to stay alone and aloof in Ahmedabad with Amara’s memories and requested her mom to bear that much for him. And looking at Raj’s depression, her mom agreed but she decided to visit him for 15 days every month.

***

At present…

Raj’s routine is fixed since a year after that episode. He wakes up at 6 a.m. Then he goes for a walk for an hour at the beautiful river front constructed by the bank of river Sabarmati. Then he comes back at around 8 and has a cup of black coffee and a brown toast and goes to office. He works really hard and remains engrossed in work so that he doesn’t miss Amara more. He eats canteen’s blend food in lunch and returns back home at night 8 p.m. He again has black coffee and brown bread toast and again goes for a stroll along the river front enjoying the calmness of the nature.

He returns back around at 10 p.m. At 11 p.m. or so, he starts listening to the music and at times – “Love Guru” on radio on 91.1 f.m., sitting alone on the swing in his balcony. He loves the solutions that Love Guru gives in his husky voice. And every time, he would ask a caller to move on and forget the past, Raj would change the station. Because, maybe he could not move on since a year and that made him feel helpless or maybe he didn’t want to move on.

Life had been same for him since last 1 year till he heard that sweet voice that night.