Be Alone..But Not Lonely..!!

Let us accept the fact that each one of us has ‘n’ number of mood swings and actually that swings to and fro with highest Amplitude and Frequency.  And we all have a phase where we love to detach ourselves from the entire social circle. Just be with ourselves. It may be coz we are hurt or it may be when we need eternal peace. When we wanna find Peace within ourselves.  Or may be Wanna Heal. Coz Life Neva Promised to be Pleasant all the time. This blog is about how Sometimes unwantedly  the Clouds of  Loneliness Creep in and Sting bitterly. But never to forget that its Darkest right before the Dawn and then the Rays of Sun Stream in With Pleasures. But its u who has to find that ray of hope. I too went through this phase.

There was a time when loneliness crept in my life too. Don’t know whether it was willingly or unwillingly. We all have different ways of handling it. But being alone can be a bliss but being lonely is never.

The only Sounds in the house I could hear were the little one’s, the simmer of coffee on a gas, clanking of cups, the bite of knife wedging the vegetables on the chopping board. And I would get lost at times getting my skin peeled out by knife. At times, I felt like starting the mixture though there was nothing inside it just to fill the nook with some sound. Or would cook with loud volume music and headphones on.

When I would step out of the kitchen and onto the hallway, my bare feet even wouldn’t make sound against mirror-finished grey kota stone flooring. In late afternoon, I would look over my bedroom where the pale light from dipping sun streamed in through windows. I would listen music at high volumes on my i-pod or laptop because I loved producing sound from what I imagined to be an empty expanse.

At times I would enter my own room like an intruder. And funnily, scarcely a few hints indicated that I lived there, like my  clothes in my wardrobe, and my books on my shelves, and my pictures on my room walls.  At times after late night slumber, I felt like this, I would pull the sheets of comforter over my face and search something inside me that would compel me to rise and go back to living. And at times would stare at the vacant pillow besides me.

Days after days wrapped up itself in a shell of emptiness and nights arrived with a new set of promises and resolutions that got broken once mornings set in. I craved for something: Might be harmony, Might be understanding, Might be peace, Might be Happiness, Might be Someone to shake me off from my Loneliness, Someone to just hug me…!! At times I would wake up to squeals and laughter of the T.V. shows that had remained on while I went to sleep watching it. Happiness had become jarring.  From the moment I woke up till I fell into fitful sleep, and sometimes in my dreams too, my mind was logged with Questions – What am I doing to myself? Why am I punishing myself ? Is it nice being lonely or Is it nice being Alone? Is it nice getting detached  or its that m scared of attachments or commitments now???

At times the nerves in my body beat up hard against my skin. It was as if my body had turned inside out, leaving me hollowed me out. There was a kind of rage, don’t know about what and against whom, inside me that I wanted to let out. I wondered what could I do to make my burning thoughts and boiling blood turn into simmer. I would fall down against bed on the floor, cry till I could no more and get up to beat the patches made by my tears.  I would neva look into the mirror and even if I would, I would with criticizing look.

I had always chosen my dreams and ambitions as per my will, coz I neva wanted to blame anyone else for my choices or my life. So now finding myself  in unchartered territory, I didn’t know what my next Milestone would be. For me, neither the neglect, nor the joys made the difference. Having seen loss and failure, I lived in perpetual fear of disaster. There was no definition of my days. I would wake up whenever sunlight streamed in through my bedroom windows, at times may be at afternoon. I knew it was nightfall when the dusk stole light from the novels that I was reading. I never remembered what I cooked or ate although I ate 3 meals a day. After the music and novels, I would clock the passage of time by looking at the traffic sitting on my favourite swing. Days continued clocking in and out, blending into each other.

Then one day, as per mom’s wish I stepped outta the house, going to a Mall for shopping. Everywhere there were people, shops and cars. No one strolled non-chalantly, stopping to catch up with friends; infact people were rushing past each other with their ears pressed in their mobiles. The singular factor defining the mall was its sound that rushed towards me like an enemy I could not fight. Having looked at so much of crowd after weeks, I could feel the life throbbing back into my veins. Somehow I gradually started loving it all over again. The fresh air streaming in from car windows blew my awkwardness away....!! ☺☺

Coming back, I directly headed to my room for a long hot shower. I came out an hour later. I guess all I wanted at that time was a long cry in the shower so that I could release the pain that had built up inside me so far..  I almost started sobbing till my breathe got suffocated. Felt at peace. I felt as if my old self had been stripped away and I slipped into a new skin, just like a tree that would shed its dried leaves and welcome the new fresh leaves.  Happiness started inching towards me like a wave, and knowing how fickle it was, I dint wanna scare it away with sudden bouts of despair.

I came back to my routine life. Getting up early, going to gym for 2 hrs, cook, eat, educate the servant class in late afternoon which gives me contentment and evenings sitting on the swing with my music. Night with novels.  I still m alone but not Lonely….!! I enjoy every bit of this life... Living it to the Fullest...!! ☺☺

So please Learn to Be Alone without Being Lonely.  And if u at all feel lonely, just go out, take a deep breathe.. Let the fresh air caress u.  And when u urself cant understand whats going on, trust the instincts and decisions of ur loved ones. Coz u might not see in your darkness what they can see since they are at dawn…!!☺☺

Standing Alone Just means U r Strong Enough To Handle things By Urself..!!

Being Alone is Not Bad… But Being Lonely Is… Be Alone But Not Lonely… Enjoy Being Alone..!!! May it just be a cuppa coffee... Enjoy Every sip of it Alone...And shake off Ur loneliness.. Life is Beautiful.. Notice it.. Fight for Ur Dreams...!! ☺☺☺☺

My BFF- Best Friends Forever..!!

Losing or Parting from our Best friends at any point of time is a matter of inexplicably Unbearable Pain for any of us, right? Yes, but let me ask an important question: Who is your best friend? If you ask the same question to anybody, of course, they suddenly will remember a long list of their sweet and beloved friends and reveal their names with extra details enthusiastically. 

Try to pose one more question: What do you mean by friendship? Oh My God..! They start to tell all the stuff they did with their friends. Surely, we all know the likes and dislikes of our friends and also we respect them. But my Question is, Do we ever think of making friendship with our own Parents or Mentors who guide our lives..???  Who are the candles that enlighten our lives. Do we???? We never do that.

My this blog is dedicated to few important people in my life whose words urged me and wanted me to write something…

Lets come to the people for whom I may have forgotten to say that they are my Best Friends.. or against whom I may have rebelled at times that they are not my friends..!! They are My Parents n My Mentor….!! My parents who brought me to LIFE and my Mentor who taught me the meaning of the word – LIFE…!! ☺☺

Growing up, my Mom and Dad always told me that they were my Best Friends and no matter what they would always be there for me. At such a young age, I went through many stages in my life were I disagreed with what they told me. I would go through times where I said I hated them so much for punishing me, enforcing rules, and keeping me from doing the things that I wanted.  In school, I excelled in all the courses with very high grades. I thought because of my outstanding grades, I could defy my parents’ rules and guidelines all that I wanted. At the time, they were the last people I would consider my "Friends".

However, as I grew up, I have come to realize one thing I never did before; My parents are my Best Friends. With their love and guidance, my parents have had a tremendous impact on the person I am today. They have coached me rather than making decisions for me. I always have been given the freedom to discuss openly and frankly on anything…(however m still hesitant to an extent) !! When I had my first crush, my parents knew it before my crush knew it..!! Lol… They have been with me.. Stood by me.. Always showed me the fairer side of life and enriched my life with their compassion.. And I think that’s what a  Best Friend is meant to do.. ☺☺

Well..Unfortunately the same is the case with My Mentor. My first impression for my Mentor was she is a “Serious Dictator” who just orders me- “How to act?” and “What to do?” (LOL) ..bcoz she happened to be my boss too. But within quite a short time I realized it wasn’t true at all.. Infact she was never my boss... Infact, she is Gem of a Person as I always say.  Never realized that whom I never understood in the beginning and who never understood me in the start would one day be a person to whom I would rush when I have any single thing to share.. May it be happy or may it be sad... It is from her I learnt the meaning of word -  LIFE. She taught me LIFE is simple:

L- Laughter in times of sadness and woes

I – Integrity in one’s own belief

F – Fortitude to be independent and an individual

E – Enjoyment in content in life without Expectations

Quite Easy na?? But it took me 6 months to understand what she was trying to explain. She’s one more person who is responsible for what I am and who I can count like 1,2,3 in my best friends’ list along with my parents. Infact I would have got lost in the Fog of Depression if she wasn’t the street light who enlightened and showed me the way. And today is the time when if I sneeze I would let her know. Infact for her, I genuinely believe that "When Destiny Forgets to Tie Sm People in Blood Relations, It corrects its mistake by making Them Best Friends..!" She's that close to me. My Mentor- My BFF (Best Friend Forever) for sure..!! ☺☺☺

These are the people we forget in our daily lives. Friends we should realize that nobody can be a better friend than our parents or mentors, who may already have lost many of their ‘close friends’ in course of upbringing their children or upbringing an institute in case of a mentor. If we shun close bond with our parents or mentor, loneliness will become a part of their life. Surely they will accept it as fate. 

How many of us know what is up with our parents, the same way that we know what is going on with our friends are up to? How many of us has that one person in life other than parents who taught us how to live? And when we start enjoying our life how many of us go back and tell that Mentor thanks for teaching us the same? A piece of paper – a resignation – an air ticket – all these should not make us forget what they did for us. Are we aware How they are feeling? What makes them happy, angry, annoyed or frustrated? Unfortunately, we do not know our parents or mentors as much as we know our friends. Did we ever ask them what their friends were like? What was their perspective about friendship when they were kids or our age?

When we give preference for our ‘personal life’ over relationship with our parents and mentors we should realize that they too had a personal life before our birth or when heard our catharsis for hours in case of mentor. But did they care about their personal life at that time? Infact they made us their priority.. Then how can we treat them as an option..??? Are we that cruel???

We should talk to our parents and mentors more often; we should hang out with them once in a while, take them out for a coffee or lunch or dinner and get to know them. We will find that this will not only give us a new perspective on their parenting or mentorship, but it will instill a new found mutual respect in us for them and in them for us, and it will also create and strengthen a connection that should last a life time - that of friendship.☺☺☺

Since last 10 years I have been celebrating Friendship’s day and Valentine’s Day with my Parents. However this year, this year I would like to spend some time with my mentor too ( incase she's free from her busy schedule) and know her perspective on friendship. Because for me she is Morrie and I always say I wish I had Tuesdays or Sundays or Any days with her...(P.S. -Those who dint understand.. Read the book -"Tuesdays with Morrie".. and u will get to know what does the word MENTOR mean) ... I want to know their experiences and want their teachings to consume me soooo much that this can be the most memorable friendship’s day of my life…!! ☺☺☺

Happy Friendship's Day to all of U with a Cuppa Coffee...!!☺

Live to the Fullest, Jst Dont Exist...!!

Oscar Wilde said - "To Live is the Rarest thing in the World, Most people Exist, That is All...!!" ☺☺
Now a days people eke out a living, improve their living conditions or keep their high standard of living,  but They Forget to Live...! Infact, People don't Live, but They Survive Each day, for they are too Busy, too Tired, too Stressed and too Worried to really enjoy the pleasures of life. ☺


Here are the 15 ways To Live and Not Just Exist...:-


1. Appreciate the People & Things in Your Life: 
Appreciate the People in Ur Life Now. You have No Way of Knowing How Long They'll be there. Show Ur Love Now before Someone has been taken away Tomorrow. Cherish those who Love U and Appreciate them today. Appreciate Small Things n Gestures in Life.. It may be a Hug.. It may be a Helping Hand.. It may be a Good Morning Wish.. It may be a Smile...These are small things that can give Big Joys...!! ☺☺


2. Ignore other People's Negativity:
Never debate with Negative People. Be Empathetic. Help them to Address their Emotions, the Solutions will automatically will come to them. Converse only on light topics like New movies, Daily occurrences, Common friends, Jokes, etc. that can lighten their mood. Praise the person for Positive things. If possible, reduce the contact gradually. 


3. Forgive those who Hurt U:
Forgiveness is the attribute of Strong People. Weak can just take revenge. Always Remember Forgiveness Warms the Heart and Cools the Sting thereby Maintains the Thermal Equilibrium of our Emotions. Forgive those who Hurt U but Never Forget what it Taught U...!!


4. Never Lose Ur Individuality:
Never Lose Ur Individuality or Identity. Once u Lose that, U just become one more face in the Crowd. Those who Love u will never ask u to give up Ur individuality. They will Love U for what u are, what u were and what U are yet to be.. Those who Mind Ur Individuality Don't Matter and those who Matter just Don't Mind..!!


5. Listen to Ur Inner Voice:
Listen to Ur Inner Voice. Trust Ur Instincts n Intuitions. Don't blindfoldly trust what others say. Take some time out before U go to bed and talk with yourself. Jot down Ur thoughts. Go through it once in a while. U will get all the answers by yourself. Believe in Urself. ☺☺


6. Embrace Change and Enjoy Ur Life as it Unfolds:
Don't be Resistant to Changes. Infact embrace it with Open Arms. Let the Life Unfold itself. U never know Life has its own Surprises. Some may be Pleasant, and Few may be Unpleasant. But then every cloud has a silver lining. Think Positive about the changes. Don't stagnate urself. Keep moving. Always remember that it is Darkest just right before the Dawn...!! 


7. Choose Ur Relationships Wisely:
A man is known by the company he keeps. So choose ur relationships wisely. Be only with those who give u reasons to Smile and not those who try to Bring u Down. Relationships play the most important role in helping you Live the Life. Be with People who know Ur Worth. U don't need the whole team to be Happy coz of U.. U just need a handful of them who appreciate for who U are..  ☺☺☺


8. Recognize those who Love U:
Its so said that - "Its Not ur fault if U cant judge the Eyes that Ditch You.. But its Definitely Ur Fault if U can't judge the Eyes that Love U." Those who love you will never leave u for ur Mistakes, when u r Broken or when u Lie or when u r Ugly. Infact they are the ones who Accept ur Mistakes, Give U Moral Support when u r Broken, Accept ur Excuses and who knows ur Inner Beauty. They are the ones who will show U why life  is Beautiful and y is it mandatory to Live it..!! Those who love u will love u unconditionally.. without  any expectations in return...!! Identify them and Cherish them....!! ☺☺☺

9. Love Urself:
If U want to actually Live n Not just Exist.. This is the main key.. Love Urself... Hug Urself every morning when u wake up.. and say - "I Love myself for Being me"...!! Always remember... Only if U Love Urself, only then  U can expect Someone Else to Love U...!! ☺


10. Do things Ur Future Self will Thank U For:
Do something Now that will make U Proud of Ur Ownself in Ur Later years. Do something that gives u contentment permanently. Touch a life. Enlighten a Soul. Enrich with your Love n Care. ☺


11. Be Thankful for all the Troubles U Don't  Have:
I have seen many of us cribbing for very small things. Like My mom didnt cook my favourite dish well.. My mentor didn't answer my call back. My dad dint lend me the car today to drive. At the same times, what about those who don't have food to eat. Those who have celebrities as their role models and cant meet them for lifetime. Because this one is accessible it doesnt mean they have to reciprocate every single thing. What about those who walk on foot daily to save their expenses. Be grateful for whatever u have got. God knows and gifts U whateva u Deserve and Not what u Desire. And the only Key to it is Don't Expect... Let every little thing be surprise and see how it makes u Happy.  Be unconditional. ☺


12. Leave Enough Time for Fun:
Do things that make u happy and in which u experience fun. Like I love to care and love n surprise my nearest n dearest ones... I love music.. I love being on Swing.... I love talks over Coffee... Anything...!! Do what gives u pleasure and u will actually enjoy living ur life every moment... ☺


13. Enjoy the Little Things in Life:
Enjoy and Appreciate Little things in Life.. We wish to earn loads of money but we have the best of times only when we just discover just 10 bucks in pocket surprisingly... We wish to wear high brands but we feel most comfortable in track pants and night suits...We wish to Sit in Taj and Marriot with elite people but the fun is in having Pani-Puri at a roadside Lorry with closest friends...Sometimes A Small walk to Remember with Dear ones is much better than Long Drives.... Sometimes sitting with someone and having no conversation is much better than having 2 hours long talk.... Take note of small gestures n small things so when u achieve bigger ones, u can smile n say - "I have lived it all"....!!!


14. Accept the fact that Past is Not Today:
Past is a Nice Place to Visit .. But Definitely Not a Good Place to Stay or Reside... Accept that whats gone is gone... And for thing that is gone, U cant ruin the current Moment... which is called "Present" - A gift...Just learn to live at the moment and that too to the fullest...!!  ☺☺


15. Let Go when U must: 
Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure. The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward....!!!


So lets just not Exist for the sake of the Existence... Lets b Fit and Live to the Fullest..... Coz at the end its the Survival of the Fittest.... and that Can only be Possible if U Live ur Life to the Fullest....!!! ☺☺☺


Stop Trying to Fit in... When u were already Born to Stand Out...!! ☺☺☺