Bitter Sweet Memories

It was a sunny Monday afternoon. The girl named ‘Simran’ was not feeling much well. She had severe body ache as cancer was advancing further. The cool air coming out of A.C. could not suppress her pain. She felt more and more restless.

However, early morning she had made up her mind- “Today is an auspicious day and I am going to cook a sweet dish for my mom any which way. As such mom seems to low since many days…. So may be my cooking a sweet dish for her may light up her mood… may be it will bring her smile back… I will ignore the pain today and be strong and make her smile bring back… “

She immediately got up and asked her cook – “Maharaj.. Please teach me how to cook Suji ka halwa… Mom loves it and I want to make it..”

Maharaj replied – “Madam. U please don’t make it. I will make it for you. U just serve her…”

Simran- “Now I want to make it with my own hands so that she feels good. I will put my all love and cares in it. It will surely bring her stress level down..”

Maharaj did not argue after that.

After a while, she started coughing badly and she vomited blood. She almost fainted. So her nurse advised her to rest for a while. She immediately went to bed.

But she was too restless to have a sound sleep. She tossed in bed for a while. Then she woke up and called up her cook again and asked the recipe again.

The cook explained her all over again. Then she looked at clock. It was just 3 p.m. – “Mom will come back at 7 p.m. The cook said it takes 30 mins to cook the halwa. So I shall start at 6 p.m. Till then what shall I do?”

She was too excited about it because she had complete faith that she would bring a smile on her mom’s face with a sweet dish full of sweetness and love. And after that, mom would have no stress ever.

She tried to divert her mind and tried to surf the T.V. channels and guess what she was watching. Cookery channels with an expectation that some channel would show how to make halwa.

After a while, again she called up the cook to confirm the recipe of the halwa. The only thing she wanted to see was a beaming smile on her mom’s face.

She started making halwa at 6 p.m. sharp with the cook instructing her online over the phone. She did every step carefully so that she doesn’t make a blunder.

At 7 p.m. the halwa got ready. She served the halwa beautifully and went to her mom to give it to her.

As soon as she entered the room, mom gave a big frown and asked – “U know I am not in right mood. Yes or no? I don’t want to see anybody as of now. Do u get it or not?”

The girl almost got tears in her eyes. With moist eyes and cracked voice, she replied – “But mom I just tried to make your mood by cooking for you.”

The mom got pissed off more and said – “Is there a compulsion that I am supposed to eat these? Is there a compulsion that even in this frame of mind, I have to talk to you and be good to you?”

The girl almost got shaken up but she managed to stay strong. She thought to herself – “I have not done anything. Then why is mom being so harsh to me? Have I done a mistake? But how? I have obeyed every word what she has said. Then why is she so pissed off with me?”

The girl just replied – “But mom why r u being harsh to me? I have not done anything wrong. Have I?”

Mom replied – “If I am harsh to you, just excuse me. And please don’t piss me off more.”

The girl with moist eyes just stood up from her room and started to leave. She touched her feet. But mom didn’t bless her. She hugged her mom to give healing hugs. But the mom stood still, not reciprocating anything.

The girl went away with  eyes filled with tears and heart burnt. She didn’t want to piss off her mom.

That night she cried herself to sleep because she had no one to share her feelings and emotions.

Silently in her prayers, she just prayed – “Dear God. I am tired of cancer and its treatments. And I am as such being a burden on others and bothering them. Why do u force me to be here on earth when I am so unwanted? May be I have hurt mom somewhere that’s why she is so rude to me. But I have not done anything. I swear God. But its not her fault. She herself is not in correct frame of mind. Please give me all her pains but make her stress free so that she becomes cheerful again.”

The next morning the girl was in terrible health and was hospitalized. May be the God answered her prayers.

P.S. – Many a times, we ignore others, hurt others, knowingly or unknowingly just because we are not in correct  frame of mind... not knowing how it would affect them. We don’t even realize what emotional damage we are giving them by being so harsh. We may be in worst of mood but we should not let it affect others especially those who care for us and are ready to bear our all mood swings. And if at all we are upset with opposite person, just admit it or say it once. That would make the relation easier. If you don’t say the reason to other person and keep being rude, the other person gets confused. Neither u r clear that person is at fault or not. Neither that person gets aware of his or her mistake. Better if u say it once what’s bothering you. Atleast, that person would apologize if at fault and would justify if not at fault.  But speak out once. So that things become clear and hearts at peace else there would be unnecessary disturbances in ur and their lives.